23 Kinky Sex Ideas: Very Freaky Tips To Spice It Up

There are more than kinky sex ideas and tips on this page than you can use in next year, so my advice is to bookmark it.

Great Communication is Key

The most important factor when it comes to having kinkier sex with your partner is understanding the importance of communication

Without proper communication, you’re not going to fully understand what your partner needs, and he will only be able to guess what you need and enjoy.

Great communication also means using a safe word if you are attempting anything potentially dangerous.

Some Things Will Feel “Meh,” And That’s Ok

There are so many different kinky ideas, tips and games on this page, but not all of them will be enjoyable for you or your man.

And that’s perfectly fine!

The key is finding what works for you and expanding on it. If you find that rough sex is your thing, that’s great, keep expanding on it.

If you don’t like the idea of involving others in your sex life, then avoid it!

I wish I didn’t have to say it, but I get so many emails from people asking me how to enjoy something they don’t enjoy! It may be a conundrum for you too, but here’s the truth.

Sex isn’t like tax season where you have to pay your taxes. You only have to have the sex you want to have.

Start Slow

If you are trying some new kinky idea you’ve just found on this page, or elsewhere, then my advice is to start slow and try the tamest version of it first.

So, if you want to try getting spanked by your man, get him to use his hand or a hairbrush first before you spend $100’s on whips, paddles, and floggers.

Ok, let’s jump in with my first kinky sex idea you can try with your man…

1. Blindfolds

“Blindfolds? Well duh, that’s the most obvious kinky sex idea I’ve ever heard!”

Ok, ok, I know most of you have probably tried this one already, but hear me out…

I don’t want to tell you how to blindfold your man. That’s the easy part, just use a towel, eye mask or buy a blindfold. It’s what you do while he’s blindfolded that’s important.

With this in mind, here are a few kinky things you can do to your man while he’s blindfolded.

Hold & Cold

When your man is blindfolded, you’re going to tease him with some hot and cold sensations…

Run an ice cube over his nipples, penis, balls, and lips.
Taking some warm chocolate sauce in your mouth, start giving him a blow job (just make sure it’s not so hot that it scalds him). Try giving him a blow job with some ice water or even chilled champagne in your mouth.

Question Game

Next, you can play a simple question & answers game and give him rewards or punishments depending on his answers.

Lead Him Somewhere New

You can also lead your man somewhere else when you blindfold him. This can be somewhere boring like to another bedroom or the living room. But if you want to be kinkier, you could also bring him to the basement, garage or even outside if public play is your thing.

The other benefit of blindfolding your man is that you may find there is less pressure on you. If you often feel pressure to put on a performance for your man or feel self-conscious about yourself during sex, then making him wear a blindfold can help alleviate this pressure.

2. Restraints

Restraints have near limitless possibilities when it comes to kinky sex. Here are some of my favorite ways you can use restraints to spice things up.

Using your body on his body – This is the easiest as it doesn’t require any equipment. You can use your hands to pin down your man’s hands above him, behind his back or to his side. You can also use your body weight to restrain him by lying on top of him.

Handcuffs, rope, ties & bondage equipment – The more obvious choice when restraining your man is by using something like a pair of handcuffs or rope or specialty bondage equipment to restrain him. Here are a few examples that hopefully spark even more ideas for you:

Handcuff him behind his back.
Tie his wrists to the bedposts and his ankles too.
Tie his ankles to a spreader bar to leave him feeling vulnerable.
Put him in a straightjacket to let him know who’s boss.
Hogtie him to completely humiliate him.
You can even restrain his penis using a chastity device.

3. Spanking

The first thing you should know about this kinky idea is that some find spanking incredibly hot and arousing, while others don’t enjoy it at all. It all comes down to personal preference. With that in mind, I hope you’ll at least experiment with it.
And here’s a few ways you can do just that…

During sex

If your man is on top of you during sex or in any position where it’s easy to reach his bum, then you can try spanking him. Just use an open palm and if you like you can lightly grab him or rub him after you’ve hit him. The key is experimenting and seeing what he responds to best.

If you are playing a kinky sex game with your man, and he fails a task or if you’ve caught him doing something naughty/forbidden, then you may want to punish him with a spanking. You can tell him to get on all fours or to remain standing and place his hands against the wall or even to lean over a table.
Then it’s a simple case of handing out his punishment (pun very much intended).

A great way to further inflict your will on your man when you are spanking him is to make him count each strike.

Tools

If you really enjoy spanking, then there are a bunch of tools that can help you achieve a similar level of pain/pleasure, depending on the sensation you enjoy

Whips
Floggers
Paddle
Crop
Slappers
Canes

One Big Warning

Spanking leaves a mark and causes small amounts of damage to the skin and tissues on your man’s backside provided you aren’t too vigorous in your striking. However, if you spank him on his kidneys or spine, then you are going to cause serious damage. Don’t do this. My advice is to focus only on his bum.

4. Make Oral Sex Crazy Kinky

Giving you man a blow job or having him go down on you to eat you out may not sound like the craziest kinky idea, but it can be. Here’s how…

Hands on Head

When your man goes down on you, you can put your hands behind your head and let him get to work…or you can use your hands to provide guidance.

Just put them in his hair or rest them on top of his head at first.

Then, when he starts doing something really satisfying, start slowly rubbing and massaging his scalp. But, if he starts doing something that’s not particularly enjoyable, stop massaging him. This is an easy way to give him feedback as he’s giving you cunnilingus. Of course, make sure to be vocal in your feedback too.

The other great thing about having your hands on his head when he is licking your pussy is that if you need more pressure you can just pull him closer into you.

Of course, your man can also use these exact tips when you are giving him a blow job

Eye Contact

Maintaining eye contact while your man gives you cunnilingus or while you’re giving him a blow job instantly makes it more intimate.

There is a really kinky way to use eye contact during a blow job or when he’s eating you out…

You need to make eye contact with him right at the point of orgasm. It’s incredibly powerful.

Where You Do It

Another easy way to make a blow job or cunnilingus hotter is to do it in a place that’s out of the ordinary. Here are a few ideas.

In a car (just make sure you’re not breaking any laws!)
At a really breathtaking spot, think the top of a mountain or a cliff, on a beach or anywhere with an incredible view.
In an empty room at a party.

The Finish

You can give your man a really straightforward and even boring blow job, but if you finish it right, then it can be super hot. Here are a few kinky ways to finish your blow job…

Into your hand and then pour it into your mouth.
Into your mouth and then swallowing it while maintaining eye contact.
On your face, neck, breasts, ass, back or any body part that your man obsesses about.

69

The 69 position is so simple to perform, yet so much fun!

5. Punishments & Rewards

A very simple way to make your sex life kinkier is to introduce rewards and punishments.
Now before we dive in and I explain how these will work, you need to understand one important thing when using rewards and punishments in your sex life…

This is about having fun…not controlling your partner. If you use rewards and punishments to control your man, then he’s going to resent you. But if you use them only to make your sex life more exciting, then you’re going to have a lot of fun.

Now here are some ideas that you can use as rewards and punishments in your sex life…

She cums first. If not he gets a spanking.
No orgasms for a week. If he breaks this, he has to clean the house.
At least 10 minutes of penetration before he cums. If not, he has to go down on her.
She must wake him up with a blow job. If not she needs to give him a blow job while he watches TV.
“69 Race” – When performing the 69 position, the first person to have an orgasm is the loser and has to bring the winner breakfast in bed.

You can also use a direct punishment and reward system. It’s up to you how difficult you want to make it. Here are some example rewards and punishments you can use…

Rewards

10 seconds of oral sex
20-second hand job
15 seconds of sex
60 seconds of passionate kissing
30 seconds of massaging his balls

Punishments

Spanking
Tickling
Face slapping
Pinching
Grabbing his balls

6. Rough Him Up

Kinky sex can be very cerebral by talking dirty or introducing rewards and punishments, but there is also a physical and almost caveman-like aspect that can be really enjoyable as well…I’m talking about getting rough with your man.

Here’s how:

Use Your Nails

The easiest way to get more physical with your man is to use your nails.

If you’re in a position like Missionary or Coital Alignment Technique, then you can easily scratch his back, shoulders, and arms with them. Reaching lower and grabbing his ass should also be possible
You can be light or rough with him. My advice is to start light and get some feedback from him on what he likes.
You can scratch all up and down his back or you can just dig your nails in in the same place.

Use Your Mouth & Teeth

Next is gently using your teeth. The emphasis here is on “gentle”. You don’t work to really hurt him.

You can easily give your man a hickey while kissing him on his neck or anywhere on his body.
Depending on what sex position you’re in, you can gently bite and suck on any part of his body. Just make sure to avoid his penis and balls, as these are too sensitive.
Try grabbing him, holding him tightly and gently biting him as he starts cumming.

Use your strength

Your mouth and hands are just a small part of the equation. Using your strength to “overpower” your man can also make for some super kinky sex. Here are a few ideas on how to do that.

In the Cowgirl Position, try pinning your man’s hands above his head.
When you want to change position, take control and try to move your man’s body into the new position with some force, so he can feel your strength.
Try putting your hand(s) on his neck and lightly choke him.

Some Notes On Roughing Him Up

There is a right way and wrong way to have rough sex with your man.

The right way is to do what comes naturally to you. If you are naturally very submissive and don’t like being rough in bed with your man, then don’t feel like you have to do it. Besides, it will feel forced and unnatural which will kill the mood.

The right way is to talk to your man and make sure to get feedback from him on what he likes and dislikes (and to let him know your preferences too!). Maybe he adores getting scratched? Maybe he hates it? You’ll never know unless you get some feedback from him.

7. Hair Pulling

Pulling his hair or him pulling your hair can fall under the category of roughing him up, that I discussed above. But it can also lead to some intense pleasure and kinky sex.

But, keep in mind that…

Hair pulling can be pleasurable, kinky and erotic or plain painful depending on how you do it. Let’s start with the right way to pull someone’s hair…

The Right Way

The pleasurable part of everyone’s scalp is the very back. I’m talking about the opposite side of yourd head to your face.
Start with your four fingers on the back of his neck, below his hairline. Then slowly push them upwards, lightly scratching his scalp with your nails as you do it.
When you reach the top of his head, grab his hair with some gentle force. Now, you’re not trying to pull it out of his scalp, but, equally, you shouldn’t be so gentle that he can’t feel it either.
Start slowly pulling downwards, allowing his hair to gradually slip out of your grip as you do it.
Repeat as much as you like and try to mix things up by using your other hand or even both hands.

Hint: The easiest way to practice this is on yourself, figure out what you like and then try it on your man.

Some Notes on Hair Pulling

Pulling his hair on anywhere else on his head is almost always going to feel painful, not pleasurable.
If he doesn’t have a lot of hair or has a shaved head, then focus on lightly scratching the back of his scalp instead.
As with all these kinky sex ideas, get feedback from your man afterward to see how much he enjoys and what parts he loves most.

8. Wrestling

Wrestling may sound silly, but it’s the perfect prelude to some kinky sex. Think of it like play-fighting and flirting mixed.

There is something incredibly hot about trying to pin your man down with all your strength and desperately trying to make him submit to you before he then overpowers you and gains the upper hand, pinning you down and taking what he wants.

The easiest way to start wrestling with your man is to wait until you’re in bed together. Try tickling him when he says something silly and he will naturally try to stop you. Now’s your chance to start play-fighting. As you do, make sure to kiss him at the same time, so he knows what’s on your mind. Here’s a few ways to wrestle with you man…

Try pin him on his back with you straddling him.
Try pin his arms over his head.
Try (gently) twisting his arm behind his back.

After trying successfully in bed a few times, you can start to try it elsewhere like in the house…or ever outside the house.

Remember the aim of the game here is to have fun while getting physical with your man. You should both be laughing and enjoying yourselves. If you are totally serious, then you’re not going to have a lot of fun.

9. Degradation & Humiliation

Degradation & humiliation can be incredibly kinky IF, you both enjoy this kind of play and respect each other’s boundaries.

So what do I mean by degradation & humiliation?

Here are a few ideas

Being spat on.
Being slapped.
Having your hair grabbed (painfully) and led around by your man.
Being kept in a confined space like a cage.
Made to eat from a bowl on the ground.
Being disrespected verbally or otherwise.
Being made to wear a collar and/or leash.
Being “forced” to stay naked.
Being referred to as something derogatory. Think of names like slut, bitch, bimbo, slave, etc.
Being “forced” to doing embarrassing things in public.

Some Notes on Degradation & Humiliation

My advice on incorporating these ideas into your sex life is to discuss them BEFORE you try them with your man. If either you or your man doesn’t like the idea degradation or humiliation and is blindsided with spitting and slapping, then you’re in for an awful time.

If you want to dip your toe in the humiliation/degradation space, then my advice is to start slow with dirty talking and then progress from there IF you both enjoy it.

Using a safe word is vital in case things get too much, and you want to stop.

10. Pleasure From Pain aka Sadism & Masochism

Being degraded or humiliated may do absolutely nothing for you, but pain may be your thing.
Do you like that tingle you get when your man slaps your ass? If so you may be a little masochistic.
Or maybe you enjoy seeing your man’s face wince when you slap or pinch him? In this case, you could be a bit of a sadist.

There are plenty of ways to inflict a little (or a lot) of pain on your partner if you’re a sadist. And of course, you can reverse these roles too if you’re more of a masochist. Here are a few examples.

Spanking
Pinching,
Slapping.
Punching.
Electric shocks.
Squeezing sensitive areas.
Using nipple clamps.
“Forcing” your partner into stress positions.
Forcing your partner to wear a gag for prolonged periods.

Some Notes on Sadism & Masochism

Just like with introducing degradation & humiliation into your relationship, you need to observe some rules to make sure both you and your partner have a good time.

Most important is communication, giving each other feedback and incorporating these feedback into future kinky sex session, especially the first few times you explore it.

This also means having a well understood safe word in case things get out of control. Having a ball you can drop if you a gagged is also important.

Finally, my advice is to start slow and gradually increase the intensity of your sadism & masochism play so that you reach a level that satisfies you both without risking a nasty incident or accident.

11. Use Your Words, The Right Way To Talk Dirty

Talking dirty is such a powerful and flexible way to make sex kinkier and more exciting. Here are some ways you can use it to make sex kinkier.

Intensify The Experience

During the act, you don’t need to say much, but as he’s getting closer and closer to cumming, you can start moaning and using a few words to intensify the feeling for your man. Here are a few examples:

“Yes” “Yeah” “Yes baby”
“Mmmmmmmmm” “Ooooooooooo”
“I’m going to cum” “You’re going to make me cum”
“Just like that, just like that”

Amp Him Up

Another great way to talk dirty to your man is to build sexual tension and get him amped up and excited before you get down to business. Here are a few examples:

Try whispering this in his ear, when you are out with him, “How long more until we go home? I’m too horny to be out in public. I need you inside me.”
Before you call over to his one evening, try sending him a sexy message like this, “Can’t wait to see you later! It’s been hard to concentrate at work. All I’ve been thinking about is making you cum in my mouth later. Can’t wait x”
As you’re leaving for work, kiss him goodbye, then whisper this in his ear before leaving, “I can’t wait to get back from work so I can give you a little oral action.” He will be gobsmacked and thinking about you all day.

12. Involve Other People (Swinging & More)

One kinky idea, that’s not for everyone is getting other people involved in your sexy times. There are multiple ways to do this…

Threesomes – Threesomes are one of men’s most popular fantasies and the idea of a threesome is reasonably popular with many women too. However, it’s important to keep in mind the difference between the fantasy and reality.

The fantasy is having incredible sex with two other people at the same time, while the reality can involve a lot more emotions than you initially expected…I’m talking about jealousy, fear, and insecurity.

So if you’re planning a threesome with your boo, make sure to think about these potentially negative emotions AND discuss it first before diving in.

Swinging – Swinging can involve threesomes, but it’s really a lifestyle of non-monogamy, where sex can happen outside the relationship in many different ways, whether it’s a one night stand, an ongoing affair or even visiting a sex club together.

In other words, swingers are committed to each other romantically but have sex with other people.
For some couples, this can be super hot and crazy kinky and bring them closer together, while it can be a disaster for other couples. As with all intimate matters, good communication skills are crucial to making swinging work.

Voyeurism – Voyeurism is another kinky way to involve other people in your sex life. You may enjoy watching your partner getting intimate with others, or you may enjoy people watching you. Just make sure everyone is consenting and you’re not breaking any laws!

More Ideas – This is just an introduction to involving other people in your sex life, but in truth, I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of what’s possible. Here are some ideas for you to research:

Cuckolding/being a cuckqueen
Polyamory
Open relationships
Sex clubs

13. Public Play

Public play is doing anything that turns you on and gets you off while you’re in a public place. It doesn’t even have to be particularly wild. I’m talking about things as simple as:

Wearing a skirt with no panties.
Wearing a sex toy, like a butt plug
Not wearing a bra under your top.

Of course, you can go further and include sex acts like fingering, giving a hand job, dry humping, or even sex itself if the above ideas aren’t kinky enough for you.

Public play doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be walking down the street. It also refers to:

Making a homemade sex tape or streaming yourself on a webcam for others to see.
Posting images of yourself online for others to see.

You may already know this, but I’m going to repeat it anyway:

The most important thing with all public play is to make sure you don’t break the law.

14. Roleplaying

Ever fantasized about being with a fireman? What about being disciplined by a headmaster? How about being the sexy secretary for a high powered boss?

This is the whole point of roleplaying, you get to act out your fantasies and stay in control, what’s kinkier than that? Here are a few standard roleplaying ideas that will hopefully inspire you.

Getting blackmailed.
Being “forced” into having sex.
Repaying a debt with sexual favors.
Being a porn star, stripper or a call girl.
Being a masseuse that does whatever gets the job finished.
Having your innocence corrupted by someone more experienced…or being the corrupter yourself.
Strangers at a bar.
Pretending to be someone famous or pretending to be with someone famous.
Being a bored housewife or househusband.
You or your man being in an authority position like a fireman, cop, doctor, the UPS guy, crooked lawyer, professor, coach, slave owner, etc.
You or your man in submissive positions like being a criminal, student, intern, slave, etc.

These are all just examples to get your creative juices flowing. You’ll have your own specific fantasies that you’ll want to act out with your man, so make sure to focus on YOUR fantasies, not just the ones here.

Finally, it’s important to understand that pretending to be a stripper, while your man is a customer may feel a bit awkward and staged. This is true for any roleplaying scenario and it’s is perfectly fine, just make sure that you can both laugh at the silliness of it all and enjoy yourself.

15. Unleashing The Animal

Unleashing the animal is all about having passionate, animalistic sex where you are completely lost in the moment with your man. I’m talking about:

Not thinking about tomorrow’s chores.
Not worrying about your job or finances or what someone said to you last week.
Your complete and full attention on your partner and his attention on you.
Just him taking you with every ounce of his being, while you whisper things you never thought you’d say in his ear.

In other words, losing all your inhibitions and just being in the moment.

This all sounds incredibly hot, fun and easy, but in reality unleashing the animal and having this kind of intensely passionate and wild sex is hard and often unpredictable.

Here are a few ways to make it easier.

Remove The Obstacles

The biggest factor when it comes to unleashing the animal is removing obstacles in your way. These are things like:

Stress from looking after your family (Solution: Get a nanny for a few hours per week to help if you have kids).
Stress from overworking (Solution: Cut down work if possible or try to give yourself one day a week where you aren’t going to be too stressed at work)
Having low energy (Solution: Start working out & eating healthy).
Fixing his low sex drive (Solution: Get him to talk to his doctor and potentially start hormone replacement therapy).

According to one sex researchers, sex drive is affected both by things that make us want sex (accelerators) and the obstacles like those listed above (brakes). We each have our own brakes and accelerators. Learn

Build Sexual Tension

Next, is making sure to build sexual tension with your man. This is that feeling of energy and electricity between the two of you.

New Locations & Situations

Ever notice how having sex on your vacation is a lot easier and more fun? That’s the power of being in a new situation or location with your man.

You are out of your normal reality which makes it easier to start having more passionate sex. It can almost act like a “reset” button for your sex life.

A Drink Or A Smoke

Some find that having a drink or two lets them loosen up and let go. Others also find that smoking some marijuana has the same effect (of course, make sure that it’s legal in your state first).
However, overdoing alcohol or marijuana can be a recipe for disaster.

16. Even Kinkier Sex

This Kinky Sex Guide is just scratching the surface of what’s possible when it comes to having hotter, more enjoyable and freakier sex.