How To Last Longer In Bed
Maybe you want
to last longer during sex because you’re unhappy with your sexual performance,
or maybe you’re worried that your partner isn’t satisfied and you want to last
longer for her. Whatever your reasons, there are proven solutions available
that can help, such as psychotherapy, prescription medications, pelvic floor
exercises, hormone therapy, and more.
If you’re not
lasting as long you’d like, you could be dealing with premature ejaculation.
This condition occurs when you reach orgasm and ejaculate too quickly with no
control. Simply, ejaculation takes place before you want it to happen. It
leads you to ask “How can I last longer in bed?”
Keep in mind,
the amount of time a man lasts can vary. The length of time you last is only a
problem if it’s bothering you or your partner. If you’re both happy with your
sex life, then there’s no need to do anything. However, if it’s something
that’s bothering you or your partner, it can negatively affect your
relationship. When it becomes a problem, it’s time to get help and learn
how to last longer in bed. But you need to make sure you choose proven
solutions that are safe and effective.
Types of Premature
Ejaculation
Premature
ejaculation occurs when you ejaculate before you or your partner desire it.
However, there are two different types of premature ejaculation (PE): primary
premature ejaculation and secondary premature ejaculation.
Primary Premature
Ejaculation
Primary
premature ejaculation, often referred to as lifelong PE, is defined as
ejaculation that always or nearly always occurs before vaginal penetration or
within about a minute of penetration and the inability to stop ejaculation
during all or almost all vaginal penetrations.
Secondary Premature
Ejaculation
Secondary
premature ejaculation or acquired PE occurs when a man develops the problem of
early ejaculation at some point in life, previously having had normal
ejaculation experiences. Studies show that men with secondary PE are
usually older, are more likely to have problems with erectile dysfunction,
often have cardiovascular risk factors, and usually last longer than men who
have primary PE.
Causes of Premature
Ejaculation
The precise cause for premature ejaculation has not been identified. However, there are many different factors that may cause PE. It’s important to understand the root cause of your PE in order to determine the most effective solution or solutions to lasting longer.
Performance Anxiety
Many of the factors for PE are psychological, and performance anxiety is a psychological factor that may contribute to PE. Becoming preoccupied with poor sexual performance can make the problem worse, resulting in decreased sexual function. Performance anxiety often has a reciprocal relationship with PE. Performance anxiety can result in problems with early ejaculation, and then early ejaculation only increases performance anxiety. This results in a cycle that is self-perpetuating, and ultimately may lead you to feel frustrated about how PE affects intimacy with your partner and your sexual relationship.
Cultural Issues
Some cultures and belief systems have distorted ideas about sexuality that are established in childhood. Sexual experiences, both masturbation and sexual intercourse, may be portrayed as shameful, inappropriate, or something that shouldn’t be enjoyed. These issues established in childhood can result in sexual dysfunction, including premature ejaculation.
Stress and Anxiety
Depression
Studies have also found a relationship between depression and premature ejaculation, and it’s estimated that approximately 18% of men within the U.S. are affected by depression. One review of multiple observational studies suggested a significant association between depression and PE, and prevention and treatment of depression may significantly reduce your risk of PE. If you’re dealing with depression and you want to last longer, effectively treating depression may improve problems with PE, so be sure to talk to your doctor if you think you may be dealing with depression.
Body Image Issues
Although body image issues are often thought of as women’s issues, both the movie industry and the porn industry have created body image issues for men, too. Along with feeling like they must be both slim and muscular, men often deal with issues surrounding the size of their genitals and their functionality. While these body image issues have been something men have worried about throughout history, the porn industry has now created a picture of a man who has a nine-inch penis and who can engage in sexual activity for 30 minutes and have an incredible ejaculation, leaving many men feeling insecure about their body, their genitals, and their ability to perform. Unfortunately, these body image issues often contribute to problems with PE and other types of sexual dysfunction.
Health Issues
In
many cases, health problems may be the underlying cause of PE, and those health
issues will need to be solved if you want to last longer. Some of the health
issues that may cause premature ejaculation include:
·
Hyperthyroidism
and Hypothyroidism –
Men with abnormal thyroid hormone levels often experience sexual dysfunction,
such as PE. The high prevalence of ejaculatory disorders like PE and their
quick reversibility suggest that there’s a direct involvement in thyroid
hormone levels and ejaculation physiology. There is a big difference in PE
depending on whether men have hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism, and studies
show that 50% of hyperthyroid men deal with PE while only 7.1% of hypothyroid
men deal with PE.
·
Chronic
Prostatitis –
Since the prostate gland is involved in ejaculation, chronic inflammation of
the prostate gland, known as prostatitis, can result in problems with premature
ejaculation. Did you know a woman’s “prostate” is the G-spot? And with the
right stimulation, many women can squirt!
·
Unbalanced
Hormone Levels –
Low levels of testosterone and higher levels of prolactin have been found in
men who have PE, resulting in the belief that unbalanced hormone levels could
be to blame for PE in some cases. Studies looking at testosterone levels in men
with PE have been small, but it’s thought that there may be a correlation
between low testosterone and PE.
· Diabetes – Premature ejaculation is far higher in diabetic men compared to non-diabetic men, with diabetic men reporting a higher incidence of PE along with increased severity of erectile dysfunction.
According
to the University of Utah, other medical disorders and issues that may result
in ejaculation disorders include:
- · Spina bifida
- · Prostate surgery
- · Spinal cord injury
- · Radical pelvic surgery
Erectile
Dysfunction
There’s
often a link between erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. If
erectile dysfunction leaves you anxious about getting and keeping an erection
hard enough for sexual intercourse, it may lead you to form a pattern of
hurrying to ejaculate before you lose the erection, whether it’s conscious or
unconscious. Over time, this can turn into a pattern of PE that can be
difficult to change.
Relationship Issues
Relationship
or “interpersonal issues” are one of the psychological factors known to cause
problems with PE in men. In some cases, it may be anxiety about the
relationship or anger towards one’s partner that results in decreased sexual
function and problems like PE. Other studies have found that some men feel
there’s a discrepancy between their own sexual experience and the more
extensive sexual experience of their partner, and this creates feelings of
insecurity and anxiety that can contribute to PE.
Lifelong Cause
Lifelong or primary PE is often caused by conditioning
during a man’s youth. Some men may condition themselves to ejaculate quickly
while they are young because they feel rushed when masturbating. Other men have
had early sexual experiences when they were rushed and nervous, such as sex in
a car or sex while trying to avoid discovery by parents, and men may
unconsciously have learned to associate sex with discomfort and speed,
resulting in a lifetime of PE.
Hypersensitivity of
the Penis
Solutions for Premature Ejaculation: Tips for Making
Sex Last Longer
If
you are dealing with premature ejaculation, there are solutions that can help
you last longer. You’re not doomed to deal with this problem forever. Many different
solutions are available. The right solution for you will depend largely upon
the specific causes of your PE. In many cases, a combination of these solutions
will provide the best results. Talking to your doctor about the problem can
help you determine which of these solutions will help you achieve more
satisfying sex with your partner.
Tip #1 –
Communicate with Your Partner
One of the best things you can do if you’re dealing with PE is to communicate with your partner. Open communication can reduce the anxiety you both feel, resulting in more satisfactory experiences in the bedroom. Some studies have found that PE keeps men from attaining complete intimacy in their relationships even if their partners were actually satisfied with sexual intercourse.
Tip #2 – Wear a
Condom
Many men report that decreased penile sensitivity is a drawback of wearing a condom during sexual intercourse. However, for men who are worried about premature ejaculation, the decrease in penile sensitivity can actually be a benefit to wearing condoms. If increased sensitivity is a problem for you and causes PE, then wearing a condom may help you prolong sexual activity. However, wearing more than one condom at a time can make them more likely to break.
Tip #3 –
Pharmaceutical Solutions
·
Daily
Treatment with SSRIs –
Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine,
paroxetine, and sertraline, are often used as an off-label treatment for PE.
Daily treatment with SSRIs can be used and it usually takes about four weeks to
see maximum results. Some men report adverse effects, such as fatigue,
perspiration, and mild nausea, but these usually go away after a couple weeks.
·
On-Demand
Treatment with SSRIs –
On-demand treatment with SSRIs is also a pharmaceutical option, and in this
case, medications are taken 4-6 hours before having intercourse. However, it’s
not as effective as daily treatment with SSRIs.
·
Tricyclic
Antidepressants –
Clinical trials on tricyclic antidepressants, specifically clomipramine, have
shown it to be effective at managing PE. However, side effects like dizziness,
fatigue, dry mouth, and drowsiness often drive men to discontinue this
pharmaceutical therapy.
·
Sildenafil
(Viagra) –
While sildenafil, more commonly known by the brand name Viagra, is usually used
to treat erectile dysfunction, it’s been found to be an effective treatment for
PE in some men, particularly those who deal with both PE and erectile
dysfunction. One small study found that sildenafil worked better than
clomipramine, paroxetine, sertraline, and the pause-and-squeeze technique when
it came to satisfaction and latency. That answers the question “Does
Viagra make you last longer?”
· Tramadol – Tramadol has also been studied as an off-label pharmaceutical therapy for PE, and several studies have shown varying doses of on-demand or daily tramadol therapy to be an effective treatment for PE. When compared to daily and on-demand paroxetine, topical anesthetics, behavioral management, and placebo, meta-analysis showed tramadol to be a more effective option. However, while tramadol may be an effective treatment for PE, it should be noted that there is a risk of addiction and tramadol should not be combined with SSRIs according to one case report.
Tip #4 – Numbing
Creams
Tip #5 –
Masturbation
Tip #6 – Edging
(“Stop and Start” Method and the “Squeeze” Method)
Tip #7 –
Psychotherapy and/or Counseling
Tip #8 – Pelvic
Floor Exercises (aka Kegels)
If lasting longer is your goal, strengthening the pelvic floor with pelvic floor exercises is another potential solution for PE to consider. One trial took 40 men who had lifelong premature ejaculation, putting them through a 12-week pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation program. The results were very promising, with 82.5% of the patients gaining greater control over their ejaculatory reflex. With these results, this therapy is now being proposed as a new therapeutic option for treatment PE. Another trial took 78 patients with premature ejaculation and put them through treatment involving: awareness of their pelvic floor muscles, learning how to contract pelvic floor muscles pre-orgasm, and providing pelvic floor rehabilitation, which included electro stimulation, biofeedback, and pelvic exercises. The therapy does take 2-6 months to complete and requires some commitment from the patient, but in this study about half of the patients were cured after undergoing treatment.
Tip #9 –Breathing
Exercises and Yoga
Tip #10 – Hormone
Therapy
Some data seems to suggest that testosterone levels can play a role in the control of ejaculatory reflex, which means it may be worthwhile to have your doctor test your testosterone levels. Although more studies need to be done on hormone therapy as a solution for PE, if you do have low testosterone levels, consider talking to your doctor about whether hormone therapy is right for you.
Tip #11 –
Circumcision
Although it may seem like a radical solution, circumcision may be a viable treatment for PE. Circumcision desensitizes the penis, but incomplete circumcision that leaves behind foreskin remnants may actually result in premature ejaculation. Some men may find that removing those foreskin remnants left behind in the initial circumcision may increase ejaculation time and improve sexual satisfaction in men. However, it is never used as the first choice of treatment for PE. Reduced sensitivity from circumcision is not often considered a positive.
Other New Potential
Treatments for Premature Ejaculation
Along
with these solutions for premature ejaculation, new potential treatments are
being studied to help men last longer. Some of the new potential treatments for
PE that are currently being studied include:
- · Botox injections for PE
- · Exercise as an intervention for PE
- · Transcutaneous posterior tibial nerve stimulation (TPTNS – a therapy for controlling urinary incontinence) for PE control
Warning: “Magic”
Pills and Herbal Remedies May Not Be Safe
Don’t Make the
Problem Bigger in Your Head
It’s important to note that many men believe that they have premature ejaculation when their average latency time (the time between penetration and ejaculation) is normal. Sexually explicit media and popular culture often give men a false idea of what is normal. On average, the latency time for most men is around five minutes. This often leaves men thinking that they’re dealing with premature ejaculation and wondering how to not come so fast when they’re actually in the normal range.
Frequently Asked Questions About Ejaculatory Control
FAQ#1 – Do I have a
problem if I only prematurely ejaculate once in a while?
If premature ejaculation only happens from time to time,
there usually isn’t any need for you to be worried. For PE to be a significant
problem, you need to meet several criteria, including:
·
You are not able to delay
ejaculation all the time or nearly all the time when you have sexual
intercourse
·
Ejaculation always or almost always
takes place within a minute of vaginal penetration or faster
·
You feel distressed or frustrated to
the point that you may begin avoiding sexual intimacy
FAQ #2 – How Common
is Premature Ejaculation?
Studies show that 20-30% of men across the globe are
affected by premature ejaculation. However, these numbers are subjective.
FAQ #3 – Should I
talk to my doctor about premature ejaculation?
You should talk to your doctor if you think you’re dealing
with PE. In fact, it’s a good idea to discuss your symptoms with a urologist
who specializes in these types of issues. Women usually visit their OB/GYN once
a year, but most younger men only head in to see a urologist if there’s a big
problem. Regular visits to a urologist or at least asking for a referral to a
urologist from your primary care physician if you think you’re having trouble
can ensure that you catch problems while they are easiest to treat. A urologist
can help determine if PE is related to another medical problem, and if not, can
coach you on the best ways to deal with it and last longer.
FAQ #4 – Will I be
able to last longer as I get older?
For some men, PE is a lifelong problem. However, some
studies have found that men with PE are often younger than those without, and
after adjusting for problems with erectile dysfunction, the risk of PE does
significantly decrease as you age.
FAQ #5 – Can
premature ejaculation have long-term effects on my health?
Although premature ejaculation may not have long-term
effects on your health, it could be an indicator of other health problems,
which is why it’s important to talk to your doctor. It could be indicative of
psychological problems like depression or PTSD as well, which are conditions
that need treatment. PE can also have a long-term effect on your relationship,
so it’s important to talk to your partner and your doctor instead of ignoring
the problem.
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