Step 3, Part 4: How To Finger Your Girl
Below you will find 15 different techniques to finger your girl and give her intense orgasms. I’ll first cover the fingering techniques that focus on her clit, and then I’ll show you how to penetrate and massage her pussy with your fingers.
As a quick refresher, here’s her external anatomy aka her vulva:
The easiest way to give her an orgasm is to rub her clit. In fact, most women either need or prefer clitoral stimulation for orgasm; although, 64% of women reported that both clitoral and vaginal stimulation contributed to their usual method of reaching orgasm. Another study found that women reported their clitoris to be more sensitive than their vagina in terms of having more pleasurable responses.
The main takeaway from these scientific studies is that while the vaginal stimulation can contribute to orgasm, most women find that their clit is the most sensitive area and should be caressed, stimulated, rubbed and loved if you want to bring to her to orgasm easily when fingering her.
Side note: Some women still struggle to orgasm from clitoral stimulation. But that’s normal, just like it’s normal for guys to ejaculate after just a few minutes of sex.
Even if you don’t do anything else, rubbing her clit is enough for most women to climax, provided you’ve got her in the mood first by removing the Brakes to her sex drive so she can get turned on and you have also ensure that you’ve actively made her horny by amplifying the accelerators to her sex drive. Otherwise, go back to those steps before diving into vaginal fingering.
Feel free to compliment her as you please her. Some women feel self-conscious about how they look, just like you might if you want to make your penis bigger.
Lastly, you can use one finger like in the above illustration, but feel free to use 2, 3 or like in the next technique…
As I keep repeating (like a broken record!), make sure to try varying your technique to see what works best whether it’s the amount of pressure you use to how big your circles are to how many fingers you use…two or three fingers may feel better than four for her.
The U Spot should probably be called the “secret spot”, as so few people seem to know about it. While you can see it indicated in the diagram below as the darker shade of pink, it’s important to understand that it doesn’t have any distinct coloring on your female partner. It’s the area just above her urethra and to the sides of it.
Important – Ideally figure out if she enjoys anal stimulation beforehand, but if it’s her first time, make sure she gives you feedback on what she enjoys or doesn’t like.
As always, it’s a good idea mix things up, so don’t be afraid to use your fingers while also using a vibrator on your girl. One idea is to use your fingers to penetrate here while focusing the vibrator on her clit like in the demonstration above.
Alternatively, you can switch and use your fingers on her clit, while penetrating her with the vibrator. The key as always is trying a few different combinations to see which is most pleasurable for your partner.
There are even vibrators that attach to your hand to make your fingers the vibrators!
Insert one to two fingers. If you’re fingering someone with two fingers, your middle and ring work perfectly. You can extend your pinky and index finger (think of how Spiderman shoots webs). Instead of keeping your arm straight as you touch a woman down there, you want to curl your wrist back toward her body. When you do this, you can grind the heel of your hand against her clitoris for simultaneous stimulation.
You can also think about how you can finger a girl LESS forcefully. If you have two fingers inserted, use your thumb to rub her clit.
Of course, this also has the added benefit of seeing your girlfriend put on a show and orgasm for you!
Her Anatomy
If you aren’t fully confident about your knowledge of female anatomy, then I strongly advise you to read this guide to the female sexual anatomy that covers both her external anatomy (aka her vulva) and her internal anatomy. If you haven’t already read this anatomy guide, then please do now.As a quick refresher, here’s her external anatomy aka her vulva:
And here’s her internal anatomy:
How To Finger Your Girl – The Techniques
As you are fingering your girl and bringing her to orgasm, you absolutely must seek her feedback. It’s the only way to truly know if you’re pleasing and satisfying her and not causing her any discomfort. It’s the key ingredient to being the best she’s ever had.
1. Rubbing Her Clit
The easiest way to give her an orgasm is to rub her clit. In fact, most women either need or prefer clitoral stimulation for orgasm; although, 64% of women reported that both clitoral and vaginal stimulation contributed to their usual method of reaching orgasm. Another study found that women reported their clitoris to be more sensitive than their vagina in terms of having more pleasurable responses.
The main takeaway from these scientific studies is that while the vaginal stimulation can contribute to orgasm, most women find that their clit is the most sensitive area and should be caressed, stimulated, rubbed and loved if you want to bring to her to orgasm easily when fingering her.
Side note: Some women still struggle to orgasm from clitoral stimulation. But that’s normal, just like it’s normal for guys to ejaculate after just a few minutes of sex.
Even if you don’t do anything else, rubbing her clit is enough for most women to climax, provided you’ve got her in the mood first by removing the Brakes to her sex drive so she can get turned on and you have also ensure that you’ve actively made her horny by amplifying the accelerators to her sex drive. Otherwise, go back to those steps before diving into vaginal fingering.
There are a bunch of different ways to rub her clit as demonstrated in the examples above and below. You can rub up & down, side-to-side or at another angle. It’s that simple. However, there are a few important caveats to making sure it’s pleasurable for her…
You’ll almost always need some kind of lube, otherwise, it will feel more painful than pleasurable for most women (damn friction!). Plus, lube just lets your finger or hand move more easily. It’s like when you masturbate without lube versus with lube. There are two options here:
Lastly, you can incorporate this technique into sex when you’re having doggy style sex.
You’ll almost always need some kind of lube, otherwise, it will feel more painful than pleasurable for most women (damn friction!). Plus, lube just lets your finger or hand move more easily. It’s like when you masturbate without lube versus with lube. There are two options here:
- The ideal option is to lightly press your finger into her vagina first and using her natural lubrication as lube on your fingertip. If you ever feel your finger drying out, then just return to her vagina. This might not provide enough lubrication for some women, however.
- Alternatively, keep a bottle of lube on your bedside table, although this should only be necessary if she has trouble getting aroused.
- Direct stimulation of her clit with your finger or indirect at the edge of her clit like in the above demonstrations or somewhere in between?
- Intense or light pressure or somewhere in between?
- Fast, slow or medium rubbing?
- A combination?
Lastly, you can incorporate this technique into sex when you’re having doggy style sex.
2. Long, Slow Stroking
Feel free to compliment her as you please her. Some women feel self-conscious about how they look, just like you might if you want to make your penis bigger.
Lastly, you can use one finger like in the above illustration, but feel free to use 2, 3 or like in the next technique…
3. Four Fingers of Fun
4. Her U Spot
The U Spot should probably be called the “secret spot”, as so few people seem to know about it. While you can see it indicated in the diagram below as the darker shade of pink, it’s important to understand that it doesn’t have any distinct coloring on your female partner. It’s the area just above her urethra and to the sides of it.
Just like with rubbing her clit, using a lubed finger is best. Then it’s simply a case of gently stroking it as demonstrated in the diagram below. Extending your finger up to her clit as you stroke will help to increase the amount of pleasurable stimulation she receives.
Not every woman gets that much pleasure for U Spot stimulation, so if your girl isn’t digging it, then don’t worry about it too much, just try using another technique.
Some women have a clitoris so sensitive that it hurts when touched directly. If you are with a woman who has a clit this sensitive, then no matter how softly you rub it, it will hurt her, and you won’t pleasure her.
Not every woman gets that much pleasure for U Spot stimulation, so if your girl isn’t digging it, then don’t worry about it too much, just try using another technique.
5. The Clitoral Hood
Fortunately, there is a simple solution. You just need to rub her clitoral hood instead. That’s the small bit of skin covering her clit like your foreskin covers your penis. Just like your penis, her clit becomes erect when aroused.
That’s right, a 15-minute orgasm.
6. Orgasmic Meditation
I don’t know why Orgasmic Meditation works so well, but once you see the benefits, you and your girl will be hooked.
The get set up, your partner needs to lie down on her back with her legs spread open and she needs to get relaxed. Then you need to get into a comfortable position sitting down to her right side with your left leg bent and over her stomach and your right leg under her right leg. You then need to start stroking the upper left quadrant of her clit with just one lubricated finger very slowly and lightly. I’ve indicated this upper left quadrant area between the dotted lines in the illustration above. Your touch should be as light as possible.
You’re going to move your finger a few millimeters back and forth making sure to apply only the slightest amount of pressure to her clit. Some women report that this kind of stimulation feels almost frustrating, and they can’t tolerate it for long, that it seems like you are teasing her, while others say that the longer they do it, the better it feels.
This is actually what you are aiming for! Even if your partner doesn’t achieve a prolonged orgasm, this is perfect for making her beg for more.
So even if your girl is begging you more pressure or stimulation, try to hold off and not give it to her, making sure to use the very least amount of pressure possible.
Sex is a very personal thing, so bear in mind there is no “correct” way to perform Orgasmic Meditation. If you find a variation of the above technique to work best, then please stick with that and use our advice as a set of guidelines about the best way to finger a girl, not rigid instructions. Experiment with lying down beside your partner while performing it or focus on a different area of her clit or whatever works best for both of you.
So, why not play with parts of her clit that usually get little attention by massaging and gently squeezing it.
Massaging or squeezing the base of her clit is easy, just place your thumb and index finger on either side of her clit like in the illustration above. Then GENTLY press down and inwards so that you are ‘squeezing’ the base of her clit between the folds of skin surrounding it. Do not squeeze the exposed part of her clit; this will hurt her!
Start off with very gentle pressure and see how she reacts. Then increase or decrease the amount of pressure you use based on her feedback.
Then it’s just a simple case of playing around with her clit between the folds of skin, by rolling it between your index finger and thumb. You can also lightly jerk it up and down.
As I keep repeating, the most important thing you can do is lots of experimentation and get her feedback to see what type of stimulation she enjoys most as you’re squeezing and massaging the base of her clit.
Slowly rubbing them up and down like in the above diagram can bring her close to orgasm without her climaxing, which makes for great foreplay.
For many women, when they climax from clitoral stimulation, her clit can become ultra sensitive and painful for her if you touch it immediately, so you’ll want to hold off rubbing it for a few minutes. This makes her labia the perfect option for focusing on until her clit calms down and stops being so sensitive. If her labia are long enough, you can also rub her clitoris
Using either her own natural lubrication or some from a bottle will make stroking her labia feel even more pleasurable for her.
The basic technique involves you taking a pearl necklace or any necklace that has a lot of round beads on it and slowly and gently pulling it between your girls labia so that it runs over her vagina. You can add in some lube from a bottle too if either you or her prefer it to be more slippery.
With that being said, one way that many women enjoy being fingered is from behind, on the opposite side of her vagina to her G Spot, as demonstrated above.
The get set up, your partner needs to lie down on her back with her legs spread open and she needs to get relaxed. Then you need to get into a comfortable position sitting down to her right side with your left leg bent and over her stomach and your right leg under her right leg. You then need to start stroking the upper left quadrant of her clit with just one lubricated finger very slowly and lightly. I’ve indicated this upper left quadrant area between the dotted lines in the illustration above. Your touch should be as light as possible.
You’re going to move your finger a few millimeters back and forth making sure to apply only the slightest amount of pressure to her clit. Some women report that this kind of stimulation feels almost frustrating, and they can’t tolerate it for long, that it seems like you are teasing her, while others say that the longer they do it, the better it feels.
This is actually what you are aiming for! Even if your partner doesn’t achieve a prolonged orgasm, this is perfect for making her beg for more.
So even if your girl is begging you more pressure or stimulation, try to hold off and not give it to her, making sure to use the very least amount of pressure possible.
Sex is a very personal thing, so bear in mind there is no “correct” way to perform Orgasmic Meditation. If you find a variation of the above technique to work best, then please stick with that and use our advice as a set of guidelines about the best way to finger a girl, not rigid instructions. Experiment with lying down beside your partner while performing it or focus on a different area of her clit or whatever works best for both of you.
7. Squeezing/Massaging The Base Of Her Clit
Massaging or squeezing the base of her clit is easy, just place your thumb and index finger on either side of her clit like in the illustration above. Then GENTLY press down and inwards so that you are ‘squeezing’ the base of her clit between the folds of skin surrounding it. Do not squeeze the exposed part of her clit; this will hurt her!
Start off with very gentle pressure and see how she reacts. Then increase or decrease the amount of pressure you use based on her feedback.
Then it’s just a simple case of playing around with her clit between the folds of skin, by rolling it between your index finger and thumb. You can also lightly jerk it up and down.
As I keep repeating, the most important thing you can do is lots of experimentation and get her feedback to see what type of stimulation she enjoys most as you’re squeezing and massaging the base of her clit.
8. Loving Her Labia
Slowly rubbing them up and down like in the above diagram can bring her close to orgasm without her climaxing, which makes for great foreplay.
For many women, when they climax from clitoral stimulation, her clit can become ultra sensitive and painful for her if you touch it immediately, so you’ll want to hold off rubbing it for a few minutes. This makes her labia the perfect option for focusing on until her clit calms down and stops being so sensitive. If her labia are long enough, you can also rub her clitoris
Using either her own natural lubrication or some from a bottle will make stroking her labia feel even more pleasurable for her.
9. Humping & Grinding
- When she is lying down in bed, slip one leg in between hers and gently press it up against her vulva. Then slowly move it forward and backward over her vagina while maintaining pressure.
- While sitting down, have her straddle one of your legs and then encourage her to grind on it by gently pushing and pulling her hips forwards and backward.
10. Pearl Necklace
The basic technique involves you taking a pearl necklace or any necklace that has a lot of round beads on it and slowly and gently pulling it between your girls labia so that it runs over her vagina. You can add in some lube from a bottle too if either you or her prefer it to be more slippery.
11. Fingering From Behind
With that being said, one way that many women enjoy being fingered is from behind, on the opposite side of her vagina to her G Spot, as demonstrated above.
12. Fingering Her G-spot
If you’re just touching your girl’s vagina, you need to know about the G-spot. The G-spot is one of the most sensitive spots inside her vagina; although, many women also find the A-spot to be quite stimulating.
Her G-spot is located around two inches inside her vagina. You’ll find it on the front wall (anterior)
If you’re not sure where to finger your girl, feel around for a location that has subtle ridges or grape-like bumps that are surrounded on either side by “gutters’ . Her G-spot is key to making her squirt.
Her G-spot is located around two inches inside her vagina. You’ll find it on the front wall (anterior)
If you’re not sure where to finger your girl, feel around for a location that has subtle ridges or grape-like bumps that are surrounded on either side by “gutters’ . Her G-spot is key to making her squirt.
How to Finger a Pussy Internally
Whether you’re aiming for G-spot stimulation or you just want to rub her vagina in general, these tips can help.
If she does, then anal fingering is a great place to start, before progressing further to full anal sex. If she doesn’t, then it’s not a biggie, just focus on some other
Before you jump into it, you need to be aware that her anus doesn’t self-lubricate itself like her vagina does, so you’re going to need some lube. Saliva will usually work fine, but keeping some lubricant nearby is a good idea. Coat your finger and the outside of her ass with some lube, then slowly press your lubed finger into her.
Make sure to take it extra slow and listen to her feedback (both what her body says, and what she says). Her sphincter takes a while to relax, so if you force your finger inside her before it’s relaxed, then it’s going to hurt her. Instead, you should maintain a soft pressure to allow her sphincter to relax around your finger. Once it does, then you can slowly push it in and out.
- Use lube.
- Make sure your fingernails are cut short and filed smooth.
- The same goes for rough hands.
- Wash your hands beforehand to avoid spreading bacteria, which can cause infection.
- Start with one finger. You can always add more (and some women like four fingers or even to be fisted!), but you want to give her time to get used to each finger as you rub her pussy internally.
- Pay attention to her responses. If she gets tense, pulls away, seems disinterested, or is in pain, do less of that. If she moans, breathes heavier, gets closer to you, or writhes, keep it up!
13. Fingering Her Anally
If she does, then anal fingering is a great place to start, before progressing further to full anal sex. If she doesn’t, then it’s not a biggie, just focus on some other
Before you jump into it, you need to be aware that her anus doesn’t self-lubricate itself like her vagina does, so you’re going to need some lube. Saliva will usually work fine, but keeping some lubricant nearby is a good idea. Coat your finger and the outside of her ass with some lube, then slowly press your lubed finger into her.
Make sure to take it extra slow and listen to her feedback (both what her body says, and what she says). Her sphincter takes a while to relax, so if you force your finger inside her before it’s relaxed, then it’s going to hurt her. Instead, you should maintain a soft pressure to allow her sphincter to relax around your finger. Once it does, then you can slowly push it in and out.
While fingering her anally, you can also rub her clit with your spare hand for extra stimulation.
Important – Do not touch her vagina after fingering her anally. You will be bringing bacteria from her anus to her vagina which will give her bacterial vaginosis or something worse. Wash your hand(s) thoroughly after any anal action. This also applies to anything else you put in her ass.
Important – Do not touch her vagina after fingering her anally. You will be bringing bacteria from her anus to her vagina which will give her bacterial vaginosis or something worse. Wash your hand(s) thoroughly after any anal action. This also applies to anything else you put in her ass.
Important – Ideally figure out if she enjoys anal stimulation beforehand, but if it’s her first time, make sure she gives you feedback on what she enjoys or doesn’t like.
14. Your Fingers & A Vibrator
There are even vibrators that attach to your hand to make your fingers the vibrators!
15. Fingers Inside and Out
If you don’t have a vibrator handy, you can try this technique for touching your girl that incorporates internal and external stimulation.Insert one to two fingers. If you’re fingering someone with two fingers, your middle and ring work perfectly. You can extend your pinky and index finger (think of how Spiderman shoots webs). Instead of keeping your arm straight as you touch a woman down there, you want to curl your wrist back toward her body. When you do this, you can grind the heel of your hand against her clitoris for simultaneous stimulation.
You can also think about how you can finger a girl LESS forcefully. If you have two fingers inserted, use your thumb to rub her clit.
More Vaginal Fingering Techniques, Please!
Keep in mind that the best person to teach you additional fingering techniques is your girl. She already knows what she likes best, and the best fingering techniques will vary from girl to girl, so my advice is to get her to show you and teach you what she enjoys so you can keep adding to your sexual arsenal.Of course, this also has the added benefit of seeing your girlfriend put on a show and orgasm for you!
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