How to Give a Hand Job

 23 Intense Hand Job Tips That Will Give Him Explosive Orgasms

Learning how to give a great hand job to your man is a valuable weapon to have in your sex toolbox, along with learning how to give a good blow job. That’s why I’m giving you 23 different hand job techniques below that will bring your man back-arching ecstasy and having him begging you for more. Now, you may be wondering what the best hand job technique is.

The truth is there is no perfect, works-on-every-guy hand job technique.

This is crucial to understand. It’s something I also talk about when learning how to pleasure your man. The truth is different guys like different things. So if you think that one hand job tip will work every time on every guy, then you are mistaken.

Fortunately, this article will teach you enough different hand job ideas, techniques, and tips so you will always have something for your man to enjoy.

Before we get to my famous hand job techniques, we’re first going to cover a CRUCIAL aspect of hand jobs that is often overlooked.

1. Your Hands

Of course, the most important part of learning how to give a good hand job is your hands. Rough, calloused hands aren’t going to make for a particularly satisfying hand job and can even make it painful (unless your man likes rough sex)

So before you even get to giving your man a hand job, make sure your hands are soft and smooth so that they provide maximum pleasure.

Here’s a quick checklist of things you should probably do beforehand if your hands aren’t in good shape:

• Use a pumice stone on tough callouses.
• Keep your hands moisturized, so they stay soft.
• Keep your nails free of sharp edges that may hurt him.
• Keep them clean.

2. The Build Up…Or No Build Up

Many women adore a slow build up towards sex. Sexual tension, slowly amped up throughout an evening, day or even whole week, followed by teasing foreplay before reaching a climax of lust and passion can be incredibly satisfying and even addictive.

Many men also enjoy this build up and being teased into a sexual frenzy.

But others find that a long build with sexual tension and foreplay before sex can be frustrating and even a turn off. They hate it.

So keep this in mind for your man. If he doesn’t enjoy foreplay and prefers getting right down to it, then scroll down to the next technique.

If he does enjoy it, then before you even take his penis out of his trousers, try slowly and gently massaging his penis outside his pants. This is probably the easiest thing you can do to turn him on and arouse him. You just need to use your hand(s) to massage his inner thighs, his testicles and his penis outside his trousers. It’s that simple!

You’ll find that you can also use your fingers to slowly ‘tickle’ his balls and penis while doing this.

You can use this technique for as little as a minute before you start giving him a hand job. But, you can also do it for much longer if you are sitting down on the sofa watching TV or just lying in bed together.

3. Reach Inside With Gentle Fingers

After rubbing your man outside his trousers for a while, you will then want to move inside. You will need to unzip his trousers and pull them down along with his briefs too.

You may be eager to start giving him a hand job the minute you see his penis, but at this stage, it’s still a good idea to keep teasing him and building anticipation. So, instead of just grabbing his penis and starting to give him a hand job, move your fingertips gently over it.

Make sure to keep your touch super light and soft as you trail your fingers up and down his penis. Try touching him like this as far down as his perineum (the patch of rough skin between his testicles and anus) all the way to the head of his penis, aka the glans.

Side note: Use these tips to make him hard if he isn’t already.

4. Precum Play

If he is already pre-cumming at this stage, touch it with a fingertip and then slowly trace your fingertip around the head of his penis spreading his precum across it.

His precum is the perfect lube, so it will make the sensations from your fingertips even more intense. The longer you build up to foreplay, the more likely your man will start producing precum. So, don’t be surprised by a lack of precum if you suddenly launch into giving him a hand job.

5. The Gentle Claw

Another very sensual hand job technique is to make your fingers into a sort of claw, just like the ones you find in those games in bowling alleys and games arcades where you try to position the claw and then pick up a prize, usually a teddy bear or stuffed animal.

This time you’ll be keeping your fingertips together as you lower your hand onto the head of his penis. Your fingertips will touch it first. Then allow your fingertips to spread out over the head of his penis as you lower it further down.

You can focus everything on the head of his penis, or you can move your fingers further down to his shaft too.

Simply moving your hand up and down with a minimal amount of pressure will provide him with lots of sensations, especially if you are using lube. Of course, you can change things up too, by varying the amount of pressure you apply.

6. Traditional With A Twist

The ‘standard’ or traditional way to give your man a hand job is to grab his penis and wrap your fingers around it and then stroke it up and down. It’s easy, but it’s slightly dull.

Thankfully there is an easy way to enhance this technique for more pleasure.

Start by grabbing his penis and wrapping your fingers around the shaft. Your pinky finger should be closest to his balls while your index finger should be closest to the top of his penis.

Slowly stroke him up and down with your hand as you normally would.

This step is the important part: While stroking him up and down, rub your thumb over and back on the head of his penis. This means that your fingers will perform the standard up and down hand job technique, while your thumb is focused only on pleasuring the top of his penis.

Lube makes this technique much easier for you and far more satisfying for him.

7. Double Handed Backhand

The previous technique feels wonderful for your man, but it can be a bit tricky to master quickly. A much easier way to perform ‘Traditional With A Twist’ is to use both hands.

One hand will be focused on his shaft, jerking it up and down.

The other will be focused on the head of his penis. Here are some hand job techniques you can use to stimulate the head and the tip.

Keeping your fingers loose, run the tips of them over the head and then back again.

Use the tip of one finger to make small circles around the tip of his penis.

You can replace the hand that is stimulating the top of his penis with your tongue during a blow job. Your taste buds are slightly rough which means they provide massive amounts of stimulation without it ever being uncomfortable.

8. The Escalator

I call this technique ‘The Escalator’ because your hands never stop moving, just like an escalator never stops moving.

To start, you’re going to take your right hand and stroke him all the way from the top of his penis down to the bottom. Once your right hand reaches the bottom of his penis, take it away. You won’t be stroking back upwards.

As your right hand reaches the bottom, take your left hand and perform the same motion, stroke him from the top of his penis all the way down to the bottom. When you reach the bottom of his penis, take your left hand away.

Now use your right hand again, and then your left, and then your right and so on. You will be doing this so that the moment your right hand reaches the bottom of his penis, you will then start stroking downwards with your left hand and so on.

This way, your man’s penis will be feeling a constant stream of sensation from your hands. I highly recommend using lots of lube for this one.

Remember: The entire time, you will be stroking downwards only, from the tip of his penis to the base of his penis.

9. Balls In Play

In case you don’t already know, your man’s balls are insanely sensitive. So if you are just learning how to give a hand job, then you need to take advantage of this fact. This means that you can use one hand to give him a hand job, while at the same time using your free hand to massage his testicles. Here are some super erotic ways to do it.

• Fondling – Fondling your man’s balls is the easiest way to play with them. Cup them in your hands and play with them using your fingers. You should be super light here, allowing them to fall through your fingers and gently tickling them with your fingertips.

Pro Tip: Try this technique the next time you and your man shower together. Use a small amount of soap or shampoo on his balls for an extra silky feeling. You can also go further and learn how to have great shower sex or get a bit selfish and learn how to masturbate with a shower head.

• Squeezing – Instead of just fondling his testicles, you can take them into your hand and softly squeeze them. The key word is ‘softly.’ If you are too hard or rough here, you may hurt your man and even injure him.

• Pulling – This technique also requires caution, so you need to be gentle here. Otherwise, you may injure him. You need to gently grab your man’s testicles and softly pull them away from his body. This doesn’t provide that much stimulation during a hand job, but some guys adore this pulling technique as they climax and reach orgasm.

• Licking/Sucking – This final testicle technique is more of a blow job technique. While giving him a hand job, you can take his balls into your mouth and softly lick, suck and massage them with your tongue. Of course, you need to be careful not to hurt him or accidentally use your teeth here.

    This technique can be crazy hot when your man is about to cum.

    Here’s how it would work: If he is standing, get down on your knees, like in this kneeling blow     job position and take his balls into your mouth. Meanwhile, you should still be giving him a         hand job. Then as he is cumming, he can give you a facial, depending on the position of his         penis.

    Doing this can feel a little awkward and be pretty tiring on your arms, so don’t worry if you        feel exhausted after less than a minute of doing this.

• Milking & Sucking – An awesome way to suck your man’s balls while giving him a hand job is to have him get down on all fours so that when you are giving him a hand job, it looks like you are milking a cow. Seriously! The easiest way to give him a hand job (or milk him!) when he’s on all fours is to position yourself behind him.

    In this position, his balls will also be exposed, so it’s perfect for sucking him. Take his balls         into your mouth while using your hand(s) to milk him.

    Also, you’ll be in the perfect position to start eating his ass. Speaking of eating ass…

10. Anilingus Hand Job

If you are just figuring out how to give a hand job to your man for the first time, then you may want to skip this next tip. It’s called anilingus and as the name suggests, it involves pleasuring your man’s butt.

You need to set your man up just like in the previous technique: he should be on all fours, and you should be behind him.

While giving your man a hand job, you are in the perfect position for anilingus. All you need to do is lick your man’s anus and around it. You can also try licking his perineum in this position. Just make sure to check that it’s clean first!

11. The Frenulum Is Your Friend

Like I said previously, the most sensitive area on his penis is the head or glans; that’s the purple part on the top of his penis.

But the head of his penis covers a relatively large area, and you may be wondering what the most sensitive spot on the head is…

For almost all guys, the most sensitive spot on the head of their penis is the frenulum. This is the tiny piece of flesh on the underside of his penis that connects the shaft to the head, and it feels almost like a piece of string to the touch.

The most important piece of advice I can give you about the frenulum is to be gentle with it. If you apply intense pressure to it during a hand job, then it will probably feel painful for your man.

Instead, you need to be soft and gentle with it. Here are three hand job ideas to try on his frenulum

Run your fingertips lightly over it.

Softly flick it from side to side

Stroke it up and down with just one finger.

An excellent hand job tip for finishing your man off is to start playing with his frenulum only when he is about to cum. This can make his orgasm feel very different when compared to a regular hand job.

Many men find that their frenulum is by far the most sensitive spot on their bodies. However, for some men, they don’t find it particularly sensitive.

learn more about your man’s most sensitive areas or erogenous zones.

12. Twisting In Opposite Directions

Hand jobs aren’t just about stroking his cock up and down with a little variation here and there. You can also try twisting your hands around his cock instead of stroking it.

You may be wondering what the most pleasurable way to twist your hands around his cock is…just follow these guidelines:

• Grab the bottom part of his shaft with one hand and grab the remaining part of his penis with your other hand so that both hands are holding it. Don’t worry if your bottom hand is holding most of his penis and your other hand doesn’t have much to hold.
• Without applying much pressure, rotate one hand in a clockwise direction around his penis while rotating your other hand in an anti-clockwise direction.
• When you can’t turn either hand any further in one direction, change direction and rotate each hand as far as possible in the opposite direction.
• This sounds like quite a slow process, but it is much more pleasurable the faster you do it. Lube also helps you to speed it up without hurting your man.

NOTE: This can feel very much like giving your man an ‘Indian burn’ or ‘Chinese burn’ on his penis if you accidentally apply too much pressure and grab the skin of his penis. Doing this is excruciatingly painful for him.

So make sure that you use light enough pressure that your hands pass over the skin of his penis with ease without actually grabbing the skin.

And remember, using plenty of lube makes this far, far easier and safer.

13. The Ring

The Ring is a very simple hand job technique to use if you are struggling to come up with new ideas. You just need to make an ‘O’ shape by touching the tip of your index finger to your thumb.

Then instead of wrapping your whole hand around your man’s shaft, use only the ‘O’ and then stroke him up and down with it.

When you combine The Ring with The Escalator technique that I mentioned above, it can feel both exhilarating for your man and very different to any other hand job technique.

14. Stroking Fast & Slow

When you masturbate by yourself, you may enjoy pleasuring yourself at various speeds. Sometimes you don’t have time for a long, teasing build up and need to be fast. While on other occasions, you may have all the time in the world and take it slowly.

Both can feel fantastic but are very different.

The same applies for your man. Giving him a quick hand job while he’s standing in front of the mirror brushing his teeth in the morning can be super hot and very unexpected. It’s going to feel very different to giving your man a massage and finishing it off with a slow, sensual hand job using lube.

This is the magic of changing up the speed of your hand jobs; you can provide your man with completely different sensations that still make him shake, shudder and scream as you make him cum.

Pro Tip: If you are trying out a new hand job technique on your man, try starting slowly. You’ll find that it helps you master it faster.

15. Prostate Play

I’m only going to touch on this briefly as I have created a whole separate guide on how to find and stimulate the male G Spot…many men adore having their prostate played with, and you’re in the perfect position to massage his prostate when giving him a hand job.

To stimulate his prostate, you need to slide a finger inside his anus about 2-3 inches and then curl the tip backward towards his balls. The position of his prostate in his ass is similar to the position of your G Spot in your vagina.

You then need to stimulate it by stroking it, massaging it, pressing it and moving your finger in and out like you would when stimulating your G Spot.

If your man isn’t used to anal play, then you need to take your time and make sure that your nails are trimmed. Using lube is very necessary, so make sure to have some nearby. If you want to try it in the spur of the moment, then saliva can be a good alternative.

16. Talking Dirty

Talking dirty to your man is not strictly a hand job technique, but it’s a way to change things up and add yet another hyper pleasurable angle to your hand job toolbox.

While lying in bed together, try leaning over and start whispering some of these 64 dirty talk examples in his ear while jerking him off. Talking dirty in this situation can be slightly tricky if you don’t know what to say. Thankfully, there are two very easy things you can do.

1. Just tell him what you are doing, let him know how it feels and ask him for some feedback. 

Here’s an example:

“I love feeling your cock in my hand and hearing you groan every time I stroke it. I can feel you precumming now and I’m going to rub it all over the tip of your cock. How does that feel? Do you want it faster or slower? I can’t wait to feel you explode and cum everywhere for me.”

This is much hotter if you softly whisper it in his ear instead of saying it loudly.

2. Narrate a story for him as you jerk him off…making it about your hand job is even better! 

Here’s an example:

“I’m that girl your mom warned you about. I just need to grab hold of your dick and then you’re mine. I can stroke you fast or I can stroke you slow, it doesn’t matter, because when your dick is in my hand I control not only your orgasms, but I control you. And, I know you like it when I dominate you.

Now I want you to imagine all the hot, nasty, filthy things I could do to you as I jerk you off. It could be me whipping you, it could be me sitting on your face, it could be me tying you down in bondage and fucking you against your will or it could be me giving you this hand job.”

17. Put On A Show For Me

If you aren’t sure what technique your man enjoys most, then the best thing you can do is getting him to show you. Not only will you learn what he likes most, but you also get to see your man in complete ecstasy. As you lie down beside him and get him to jerk himself off, take note of:

• How he positions his hand(s).
• How fast or slow he jerks himself off.
• Does he hold his penis tightly or loosely?
• Does he speed up before he cums?
• Does he slow down or loosen his grip and he is cumming?

Once you know how he likes to get himself off, then it’s time to steal his techniques so you can use them on him yourself.

Side note: You may also want to show him your favorite masturbation techniques, so he knows exactly what you like.

18. Lube Or No Lube

A nice way to increase the sensations when giving your man a ‘handy’ is to use some lube. You just need to have it close by when you start giving him a hand job and then add a little bit to your hands and his penis. This will make everything feel more slippery, sexy and luscious for both of you.

While you can certainly buy lube specifically for sex, you can just use coconut oil which is also edible. Do bear in mind that coconut oil does not play well with condoms and will degrade them quickly as it’s oil based, so if you plan on moving on to sex after your hand job, make sure you use a water-based lube instead.

19. When Consistency Is Key

Many women (perhaps including you) find that a consistent rhythm during clitoral stimulation is best when you want to make yourself cum. If your man breaks this rhythm when rubbing your clit, it can be super frustrating.

Many guys feel the same when you are giving them a hand job (or blow job). As he gets closer and closer to orgasm, keeping a consistent rhythm is going to feel way more pleasurable than stopping and starting. So bear this in mind when your man is close to orgasm.

20. What Happens When He Reaches Orgasm

As your man reaches orgasm, you may be wondering,

“What do I do now?”

You only need to worry about two things here:

• Where he shoots his load
• How much pressure to apply

1. Where he shoots his load – This all depends on your preferences. If you enjoy it, you can let him ejaculate into your mouth and swallow his cum or spit it out. If you’re naked, then you can allow him to ejaculate over your face, neck, breasts or any part of your body. You can also let him blow his load over your hands. Some people find this super hot; others don’t. It all comes down to personal preference. Just be careful that it doesn’t get into your vagina if you’re not on the pill!

Alternatively, if you don’t want his cum covering your body, you can let him ejaculate onto his own body or elsewhere.

2. How much pressure to apply – As your man starts to ejaculate and shoot streams of semen from his penis, it may become super sensitive to touch. In this case, you should dramatically loosen your grip and slow down, so it’s not painful for him.

Many women experience the same problem when climaxing; their clitoris becomes extra sensitive and even painful to touch.

While not all guys experience this ‘super-sensitivity,’ most do.

21. Exciting New Locations

The easiest way to give your man a new hand job experience is to change the place where you jerk him off. Most couples reserve all their sexy times for the bedroom, but there are so many other great locations where you can totally blow your man’s mind with your hand job skills.

• In the bathroom when he is getting ready for the day or just before bed.
• When you’re both sitting down on the sofa together.
• Sneaking into a bathroom together at a party.
• While he’s driving (just make sure not to break any laws!). Tips & positions for having fantastic car sex.
• Jumping in the shower with him after he’s had a long day.

These are just a few examples. The key is doing some experimenting with new locations to see which you both find most exciting.

22. Get Feedback

I’ve given you a huge bunch of different hand job tips, techniques, and ideas, but the crazy thing is that your man may only find a small fraction of them to be particularly enjoyable. You see, every guy is different and has different turn ons and techniques that he likes during a hand job.

While one guy may enjoy a particular technique, it may not be particularly satisfying for the next guy. So, you can spend lots of time trying to guess which technique he likes the most, but this is very haphazard, and you’ll never be sure if he likes it or not.

The simple solution is to talk to him and get feedback on the techniques you are using.

Read: Our guide to great sexual communication should help.

You don’t need to interrogate him, but it is a good idea to ask him, “How does that feel?” or “Do you like that?” while trying a new technique or if you prefer, you can wait until after he has cum to ask him.

Even though this isn’t necessarily a hand job technique per se, I had to include it as many women (and men) never actually talk about this stuff and end up fumbling around for years, never sure if they truly satisfy their partner or not!

23. More, More, More….

Now that you know how to give a good hand job to your man (or any man), it’s time to learn some more powerful sex techniques. With this in mind, you may have noticed is that it’s very natural and easy to transition from a hand job to sucking his cock…you just need to get your mouth involved.

24. Wetter is better

Just remember…KEEP HIS COCK “SLICK!’…use your mouth…or lots of lotion/lube…so that there is NEVER any friction, or “pinching” of his skin…try to make your hand…and/or mouth…feel like the inside of your hot, wet pussy!

Good luck, don’t get discouraged, just keep trying…it’s well worth it, and really, sex is one of the greatest treasures God gave us all….enjoy it!

Have fun!