Whorephobia is a Problem for Everyone

As a sex worker, very few of the problems I’ve encountered are solely about the work I do. Often, the shit that I - and others - have to deal with is part of a bigger problem.

I’m talking about whorephobia: the judgement and negative stereotypes associated with people who do sex work. Whorephobia pervades all aspects of my life as a sex professional. The laws that try to control what I do, the way my work is described in the media, the attitude of the people around me – all of this is shaped by those negative judgements. And for someone who wants to just put their head down (pun SO intended) and get the job done, it’s real pain. Whorephobia is often reported to be the most difficult aspect of doing sex work.

Now, I could write pages and pages on the ways sex work stigma is used to justify the unfair treatment of people in my industry. Discrimination, censorship, judgement, and harassment affect sex workers worldwide. Both historically and in the present day, whorephobia has been leveraged by government and law enforcement to target a range of vulnerable groups: people from the queer community, trans people, disabled people, Black people, migrants and many other marginalised folks.

But today I want to take a step back, zoom out, and look at a bigger picture. Because I reckon there are a lot of non-workers out there who just don't really see that whorephobia affects them. People who aren't necessarily marginalized, have never considered doing sex work, and may not know any ‘out’ sex workers at all.

Is this you? If you’re reading this right now, and thinking, 'Eh, there are bigger problems in the world,' I'd like to change your mind. Because whorephobia affects all of us, whether you realize it or not.

At its most basic, whorephobia is an illogical mish-mash of negative ideas about sex work

Also known as sex work stigma, it includes well-entrenched but incorrect assumptions. Stuff like, ‘all sex workers are women’ and ‘it’s just about selling sex’. These ideas sit alongside more negative tropes, such as, ‘sex work is coercive’ and ‘all sex workers are victims of abuse’. Some folks might associate sex work with drug addiction. They assume that we’ve we’re all drug users, have been molested as kids, or are being ‘pimped out’ by abusive partners - stereotypes that are deeply disrespectful of those in any profession who use drugs, struggle with past trauma, or are victims of domestic violence.

The assumption that sex workers must be either victims or morally deficient, leads to some seriously terrible outcomes for those of us who choose this work. An individual worker’s experience of stigma depends on their location and their background - workers at increasingly marginalised intersections often have a very different experience to those with more resources and privileges. This means that the harm that’s done to us could be as simple as being ostracised by friends and family,or as traumatic as incarceration, deportation, and physical violence. By painting us as victims, sex work stigma makes us vulnerable to predators in the community. And by suggesting our work is morally wrong, governments feel empowered to lock us up, take our kids, and perpetuate an endless cycle of systemic violence that can result in our deaths.

Whorephobia also has an impact on the wider community. There are three areas I’d like to talk about: gender equality, bodily autonomy, and social stability. In all of these realms, the persecution of sex workers affects you, whether you do the work or not.

Sex work stigma is a huge barrier to gender equality

Sex worker rights are human rights, and the feminist movement must include sex workers. NSWP puts it best when they said: ‘Ultimately, there can be no gender equality if sex workers’ human rights are not fully recognised and protected.’

Whorephobia is also damaging to gender equality generally. Many sex work stereotypes reinforce gender norms. For example, that women don't like sex and must be coerced into it. Or that men are creepy, desperate, sexual predators. Then, of course, there’s slut shaming’ - the garbage idea that people, especially women, who have ‘too much’ sex are broken or damaged.

All of this reinforces rape culture, telling us that sex is a commodity that women must protect and that men are allowed to take. And these rigid ideas about what men and women are ‘really’ like are heteronormative, boring, and designed to  limit all of us in how we behave, how we express ourselves, and what we do.

Whorephobia stifles your bodily (and sexual) autonomy

Amnesty International defines bodily autonomy as: ‘Being able to make our own decisions about our health, body and sexual life.’ When we discuss bodily autonomy, we often include issues such as abortion, contraception, and LGBTQIA+ rights. But when it comes to sex work, often people are strangely reluctant to apply the same principles. Suddenly, those same feminists who advocate so strongly for a person’s right to have an abortion don’t support their right to choose who they have sex with, if they’re charging for it.

Often, it’s about society’s discomfort with ‘deviant’ sex. Sexual activities that squick us out - such as kink, queerness and sex work - aren’t treated with the same fairness as other issues of bodily control. There’s a double standard: you’re allowed to do whatever you like with your own body, unless it’s something others disapprove of. This affects you if you engage in any kind of sexy stuff that isn’t ‘straight’ and ‘missionary’. Experimenting with bisexuality? Watch out! Curious about kink? Nope, not okay. Sex work is held up as a big, bad example, and the message is, ‘you’re only allowed to have the sex you choose to, if we say it’s okay.’ If you think that’s bullshit…well, I do, too.

It's ironic. Ssex workers have actually been responsible for bringing a lot of sex-positivity to the world. We teach our clients about consent, destigmatize their desires, and give them a safe place to explore. And we are at the forefront when it comes to asserting our bodily autonomy! Even Amnesty International recognises the right of sex workers to do our work without persecution. As long as whorephobia exists, true bodily autonomy will always be out of reach for many people, if not most.

As long as sex work is stigmatized, our families, or communities, our society, suffer!

It's often suggested by conservatives that sex workers, and other people who are seen as sexually deviant, undermine the 'moral fabric of society' and disrupt the nuclear family. In fact, opposite is true - sex work stigma is often used to drive a wedge into families and destabilise parts of society.

Persecuting sex workers diverts a lot of money that could be used by communities to increase their safety and quality of life. A classic example of this is the particular way the United States operates around its refusal to distinguish between sex work and genuine instances of sex trafficking - meaning that billions are wasted targeting independent providers, while genuine victims are either overlooked or treated like criminals.

Even in places where sex work isn't outright criminalised, stigma can tear families and communities apart. Whorephobia gives abusive family members and partners leverage: if someone is accused of being a sex worker, they can then be ostracised or attacked, often without consequences. An abusive spouse may be able to hold it over their head, threaten to 'out' them to others, or attempt to use this information in the courts during custody disputes. Let’s face it: our angst about sex workers causes far more social discord than the actual work itself ever could.

You don’t need to be a sex worker to care about this stuff.

You might not be an escort or a stripper, but if you’ve ever been judged based on your gender, been too afraid to have the sex you really want, or dealt with an abusive partner or family member, the way we spread whorephobia in our communities has probably had an impact on you, whether you knew it or not.

The antidote to all of this is simply respect. For people who are different, and those who choose to do things with their own bodies that you may find strange or uncomfortable. We need to break down whorephobia where it exists - from our families, to our media, right up to our political systems. We need to stop it from poisoning not only the lives of marginalised folks and workers themselves, but also our wider society.

Only then will we have just and fair communities where everyone feels empowered to be themselves, have all the sexy, consensual adventures their hearts desire, and build stable, safe families and relationships. I think that's a goal we can all get enthusiastic about.

 Written By: Georgie Wolf

Georgie is a Melbourne escort, writer, and sex educator from Melbourne, Australia. She's the founder of the Satisfaction Project, an online guide for escort clients.